Have you called someone a Racist yet today?

Racism Industry Professionals the world over call The Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence the leader in Racism Industry Training. Here is a message of hope and motivation for all of our activists, be they students, professors, judges, bureaucrats, journalists, teachers, social workers, or sex trade workers:

At all times you should be looking for signs of racism in those around you, especially in those you do not like. People who stand in your way, who oppose your material success, your rivals in romance, are most likely racists. People who drive too fast or too slow, who have a better car or a crappy one, who look better or are ugly, are all candidates for being denounced as racists.

Fighting racism starts with whispers told about others behind their back. Using the principles taught in the The Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence, such as reverse psychology, red herring reasoning, slippery slope of good intentions, and fact creation, you can plant the seeds of doubt in those around you. Soon, there is a web of mistrust and discouragement around these evil people who dare to inconvenience you. You do not need proof or facts to assert your charges of racism. These will be found later. Maybe. Why even look for proof when you know they are guilty? Just make it up. Hurry.

After you have prepared the way, it is time to yell out to the world that you have caught yet another racist in the net of truth. Use the same methods that a five year old child does to get what it wants. Children are innocent creatures, and therefore their methods of loud tantrums and shrieking are valid for the racist hunter seeking righteous material advantage. You must use plenty of ’you’ statements, plenty of finger pointing, making up facts on the instant to paint the racist as a racist when you ambush them at their most psychologically vulnerable. When you express strong emotions, most people will assume your reasoning is valid. This gives you time to further your ambitions and agenda.

Remember the Philosophy of Situational Ethics and Moral Relativism. Racists must be hunted down, and if you have to plant evidence to smear them, well, the ends justify the means. Rather, it is not lying when you feel you are right. Besides, they would do the same to you if they were in your shoes. And, everyone else is doing it. And you better hurry, before someone beats you to it.

In our next episode, we will explore adequate levels of compensation from racists to activist organizations. The more racists you have denounced, the bigger budget your organization will have. If you do not have an expresso machine in your air conditioned activist lounge then you are not being activist enough.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this, whilst sipping an expresso in my air conditioned (68 crisp degrees!) lounge while Sonjia De Sade gave me a foot massage.

Transposted at Dust My Broom using the miracle power of modern technology.