Toronto, The City of Light

Like most Canadians, I realize that Toronto is the most important city on the planet Earth.

When we study the environment, we soon realize that the wetland is the most important land form. Toronto is Canada's Wetland. A huge cultural wetland, that celebrates diversity, choice, and higher taxes for others to fund our own diversity and choice.

If you get a call from a telemarketer today, while you are celebrating either end of the digestive tract, that call came from Toronto. Telemarketers are good, they symbolize the future, your future, as all Canada becomes Toronto. Think of that with pride when you are holding up your pants.

The Gun Registry, cut down like a tree before it could end crime, has its' master computer located in Toronto. The massive Hollerith super computer is located on McCaul street, in the Toronto College of Art.

Sex is better in Toronto. Specialty prostitutes are readily available to squeeze what needs squeezing. Gender and Species preference is no obstacle here. The Toronto Star publishes a weekly listing of sexual smorgasboard to satisfy even the most discerning taste. And, you can indulge in your most deeply held fantasy in some public place, like a streetcar, park, or library, because in Toronto, we like to be forced to watch.

There is no crime in Toronto. What few incidents occur are caused by unenlightened people from outside the happy wetland of our City of Perfection. Our rare incidents of youth crime, rape, murder, theft, arson, and assault, are all caused by inadequate social spending. In Toronto, we blame others for our own faults, because we know that others are responsible for our actions.

In Toronto, the oppressed and downtrodden breathe free air. The chains of slavery are broken when an illegal immigrant gets their first social assistance cheque, lifetime TTC pass, food bank credit card, and journalism school scholarship. A majority of illegal immigrants come to Toronto. They know they will be celebrated here. They create wealth and jobs, jobs for teachers, social workers, legal aid clinic lawyers, ESL tutors, and activists. The same cannot be said for those inferior collections of mud huts that exist beyond the light that is Toronto.

Toronto is the new city of Sodom. Poor Sodom, singled out by a racist caucausian God for oppression in a sad story from a time before the man made perfection of the socialist state. Toronto is the city that seeks to make Canada like itself in a process akin to sodomization. All of Canada should be like Toronto, and this starts with higher levels of taxation and seizures of private property to further the social engineering experiments of poly-gendered un-elected bureaucrats, activist judges, and media personalities.

If we ever design a computer that could control society (like that Star Trek episode), it would be located in Toronto. Toronto is the city of Landru. The computer would be in the Toronto College of Art. Landru lives in Regents Park, where they hold festival every full moon.

You are lucky to share the planet with Toronto. Show your gratitude by paying your taxes with a smile, giving the next telemarketer your credit card number, and filling out all government requests for information with black ink.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.