Joe shits in his bed, twice

Here's a little tribute to my buddy Joe. Joe had a stomach flu around Christmas time, and told all his friends a charming story about how he shit his bed, twice.

Joe didn't feel well this Christmas night,
He even missed dinner, he ate not a bite,
He said his tummy wasn't feeling right,
So he went to bed, and turned out the light.

He felt like it would be better if he was dead,
His stomach was grumbling, his face it was red,
His temp it was high, there was a pounding in his head,
Then he fell asleep, and shit in his bed.

When he woke up, he was covered in goo,
Messy and sticky, rolling in poo,
It was on his face, his arms, his back, that is true,
I think even Domenica was laying in it too,

He went to the washroom to clean off the crap,
All the poor fucker wanted to do, was to go back and nap,
So he changed the sheets and climbed back into the sack,
Hopefully that was the last of his bowel attack.

But on this night, God was not his friend,
He should have gone to sleep wearing depends,
I guess his nightmare wouldn't quite end,
Cuz he shit his bed, again and again.

The difference between Joe and his dog is certainly deep,
I suppose that his dog wouldn't shit where it sleeps.
Joe should sleep on some newspaper, instead of his sheets,
Cuz those things cost money, they sure aint cheap.

The moral of the story is plain to see,
Wrap a bag around your body if you're feeling diseased,
Take ammodium for your gut, and aspirin for your head,
And maybe you wont shit in your bed.

UPDATE: Domenica has sent me a few more lines that I have to include, cuz they made me chuckle so much. If you have a line or 2, put them in the comments section, or email them to me and I'll post them.

It's plain to see, yours is a friendship so true,
To be telling the tale of Joe, his stomach grumbling, him rolling in poo.
The story he told was not at all "charming",
from where I was, it was quite alarming!

To set the record straight,
although I bore witness to Joe's unfortunate state,
No laying in it on my part. I just woke up to what I thought was a REALLY smelly fart.
All kidding aside, it wasnt a pretty sight,
but Joe took it like a man and took a shower twice!

In the spirit of all things shit, here's a bonus link for ya!!