Happy Announcement!

Effective immediately, the Mitchieville human Rights Commission has seized power of the apparatus of the City of Mitchieville. In the absence of the Mayor (who is off getting married, by the way), the MHRC has taken over.

Garbage Collection Inspection Day will be the same day as your regular garbage collection day.

In order to secure the public good,

Designated Community volunteers will inspect your garbage for the following things:

1) Correct separation of garbage by type.

2) Correct cleaning of glass, metal, and plastic garbage items.

3) Correct placement of recycling containers and prompt and cheerful hefting and pitching of garbage into the garbage truck.

Those whose garbage is in violation of the community standards issued by the MHRC will be fined.

Those whose garbage meets The Three Criteria of Earth-friendly Garbage will receive a Green privilege token.

Under no circumstances are Municipal Garbage Workers to handle garbage. It is the duty of taxpayers to handle their own garbage

4) Garbage Collection Inspection Day begins promptly at 7:15 am. Be outside with your prepared garbage in the approved garbage containers by 7:05 am. Wait patiently, singing the designated happy theme song, until you are inspected and approved.

This weeks designated happy theme to be sung by taxpayers while they wait for garbage inspection is the Mitchieville Victory Song * .

Long live those that Seek to Secure the public good!

Happy Announcement!

Effective immediately, the Mitchieville human Rights Commission has seized power of the apparatus of the City of Mitchieville. In the absence of the Mayor (who is off getting married, by the way), the MHRC has taken over.

In order to secure the public good,

1) A public curfew ... when the street lights get off, get off the streets! Go to your homes! Listen to the radio for fresh political instruction from the CBC.

2) A gasoline tax of a dollar a liter will be levied instantly on all fuel purchases. People who use gasoline are bad, and must be punished.

3) Pistols, rifles, and ammunition will be issued to certain trustworthy citizens. Those who support the work of the MHRC will be supported by the MHRC with an ammunitions subsidy.

Long Live those that Seek to Secure the Public Good!

Report to your friendly local police station to determine what your fate is!