The Olympic Torch Has Been Hosed

The Olympic torch could have been Time magazine's Man of the Year this year, but recent events have made it as lovable as a red-headed step child. This next piece of news isn't going to raise the torches lovability factor one iota:

When the torch isn’t traveling on streets, it’s traveling by plane. An Air China A330 custom painted with the Olympic logo and color scheme, to be exact.

The A330 burns 5.4 gallons of fuel per mile. That translates into 462,400 gallons for the entire trip.

It’s estimated that every gallon of jet fuel burned produces 23.88 pounds of CO2. If that’s correct, the Olympic Torch Relay is adding about 11 million pounds of carbon to the atmosphere. That’s 5,500 tons.

At one point in history, the Olympic torch represented camaraderie, excellence, unity and brotherhood. Now it's no more than a toxic, carbon-spewing, Tibetan murdering, punk-ass loser that people despise. What a shitty turn of events for the poor torch, I bet it didn't see it coming.

I know the torch is just an inanimate object, but it's hard not to feel a little sorry for the poor bastard.

I still love you, little buddy!