A TomKat Fight

Katie and Tom fight. Katie not happy. Tom not happy. The Mayor not happy. Why no one happy? Big questions deserve big answers. Boo hoo:

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes reportedly got into a big fight — that ended with Holmes deciding to take baby Suri to Ohio to introduce the infant to family and friends.

“He told Katie he wasn’t going, considering the bad relations between him and her family,” an “insider” told the mag. “Katie was really happy he said that, because she’d been afraid to admit to him that she didn’t want him to go.”

Of course, you all know what this means, don't you? Sure you do. It means that Katie will be coming to Mitchieville to find the warm embrace of everyone's favourite Mayor (that would be me).

Truth be told, I'm not sure if I can be around Katie any more, at this point she disgusts me. She will have to whisper some pretty sweet words into my ear if she wants to get back into my good books. If, by chance, she does manage to say all the things I want, nay, need to hear, then I will proceed to give her a full physical to see if she still is worthy of the touch of my manly hands.

First I will have to fully explore her nether region to make sure that her bastard child didn't cause too much damage to her baby maker. I know this is unfair of me, but I need a woman who is tight, not a woman who makes me feel as if I'm rooting around in a bucket of mashed potatoes.

I've seen pictures of Katie's tummy in the past few days, and it pains me to say that it is starting to resemble Freddy Krugers face. But I'm not all about looks, there is obviously a deeper side to me. But not right now there isn't, there is only the superficial and horny me.

You know what I'm talking about, take that look of disgust off your face. Don't judge me.

She will be mine again

Another beautiful picture from the good folks at Use My Computer