I want to be a victim, too
The Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence offers a diploma in Racism Industry studies, and it is a very popular course. Graduates go on to a comfortable life of social activism, with high rates of renumeration, respect, and a sense of social accomplishment.
One of my Racism Industry students was filled with despair and came to my office for a session of anxiety counselling. He is, unfortunately, a Canadian. He was born here, in Toronto, and has no claim to the advantages of being burdened by being a victim. He has no hyphen. He is not a Looter-Canadian, he is not an Illegal-Immigrant-Canadian, he is not an Illiterate-Canadian, and the list goes on and on. He needs to be a victim.
His daughter is teaching at a public school in Toronto. She wishes her parents were divorced, or gay, or illiterate, or somehow could claim the shining advantage of being Victim-Canadians. The daughter is a graduate of my Racism Industry course, and has already benefited from the advantages of being disadvantaged. She was recently promoted from teaching into a higher paying with less work position as a Student Sexual Harassment Counsellor. She sits in her office all day, checking out her stock portfolio on the internet, reading, or just napping. At times, a sexually harassed student will be refered to her, but the student is then shunted off to some other helpful program leaving the daughter free to explore commodities trading, Harlequin romances, and herbal tea powered naps.
But the daughter wants to move up another rung in the ladder, to make that six figure salary. To do that, she needs to have Victim-Canadian parents. Her original tale of woe that got her the 75,000 dollar a year job was about repressed memories of being molested by straight white male plantation owner who ate meat, did not sort his recycling, and had a controlling interest in a seal skin tannery. That got her the leg up she needed, but now she needs more.
Her father only wants the best for his daughter. He needs to be a victim so she can get that high paying politically correct job.
I need your help so I can help this man help his daughter. Please, send me your money.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.
One of my Racism Industry students was filled with despair and came to my office for a session of anxiety counselling. He is, unfortunately, a Canadian. He was born here, in Toronto, and has no claim to the advantages of being burdened by being a victim. He has no hyphen. He is not a Looter-Canadian, he is not an Illegal-Immigrant-Canadian, he is not an Illiterate-Canadian, and the list goes on and on. He needs to be a victim.
His daughter is teaching at a public school in Toronto. She wishes her parents were divorced, or gay, or illiterate, or somehow could claim the shining advantage of being Victim-Canadians. The daughter is a graduate of my Racism Industry course, and has already benefited from the advantages of being disadvantaged. She was recently promoted from teaching into a higher paying with less work position as a Student Sexual Harassment Counsellor. She sits in her office all day, checking out her stock portfolio on the internet, reading, or just napping. At times, a sexually harassed student will be refered to her, but the student is then shunted off to some other helpful program leaving the daughter free to explore commodities trading, Harlequin romances, and herbal tea powered naps.
But the daughter wants to move up another rung in the ladder, to make that six figure salary. To do that, she needs to have Victim-Canadian parents. Her original tale of woe that got her the 75,000 dollar a year job was about repressed memories of being molested by straight white male plantation owner who ate meat, did not sort his recycling, and had a controlling interest in a seal skin tannery. That got her the leg up she needed, but now she needs more.
Her father only wants the best for his daughter. He needs to be a victim so she can get that high paying politically correct job.
I need your help so I can help this man help his daughter. Please, send me your money.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.
posted by The Mayor at 10:09 AM
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