Hippie Wisdom

I had a fine luncheon over at the faculty dining room and listened to a speaker raise our consciousness about World Hunger. The roast beef could be cut with a spoon! The rolls were fresh from the faculty dining room bakery, and the butter was imported from France. What a feast, both for the mind and the body!

Diversity is another of the blessings of Hippie Wisdom. Thanks to Diversity we now can celebrate all voices from the Village Peoples of Mother Earth. Just look around you at all the rich creamy goodness that Diversity has wrought. This is proof that it works. Infact, criticism of any aspect of Diversity is wrong and hateful and should be shouted down. That way we can hear everyones voice. We can explore ourselves and become fulfilled. But no criticisms of Diversity allowed. I speak for all Hippie Activists when I say that those darn Christians, Heteronormatives, and White people, are inimical to Diversity.

Just the other day I was musing at a promotions meeting about the horrible effect that Christians, Heteronormatives, and White people have on the promotion of Diverse candidates into academia. I call it Abilityism. This silly idea that ability is important, when it is really the Appearance of Diversity that is important. We are unable to find diversity candidates to fill our faculty roster. I, and my two good activist friends, will have to work a few more years until, somehow, we can overthrow the oppressive fascist police state that murders people and find a suitable Wheelchair Trans-sexual Black Vegetarian who has a Ph.D in Queer Mathematics. I would have liked to retire, but The Movement for Diversity is more important. I now draw my pension as well as a pay cheque. Lacking suitable junior professors, I have to go to conferences overseas. This is hard on my waistline, as my health care team tells me. Everytime I go on one of these conferences, I get some woman pregnant, but Thank God for Abortion for Birth Control. It is a tough life, but I am doing it for Team Diversity.

When I see people going to the dentist, it is better they go to a Diversity Dentist than they go to a Dentist with Ability. When people go to the Doctor, it is better they go to a Diversity Dentist, one who looks like they do (provided it is neither Christian, nor Heteronormative, nor White) and speaks as they do (as long as it is not English, but Ebonic, Patois, Slang, or any form of French) than they go to a Doctor with Ability. When I see a bus driver, I hope he got his position based on racial preference. If I see a woman performing some important task, I hope it is a drag queen or some form of employment equity promotion. Appearance is more important than Ability.

Diversity is better than Ability. Anyone who criticises Diversity is wrong.

I, Fenris Badwulf, brought you this snippet of Hippie Wisdom