Kate Moss is Stylish

According to Grazia Magazines readers, Kate Moss is the most stylish woman of all time(keep in mind that this is a British poll, and the Brits eat blood pudding)

The 32-year-old supermodel, who is still waiting to hear if she will face criminal charges over allegedly taking class A-drugs, beat off competition from the likes of Elizabeth Taylor and Princess Diana.

I know what's good for Kate, and I told her the other day where I thought her career should be heading. I said, "Kate, put down the mirror and come here for a second, I have something to tell you". I could see that Kate was worried because I had a serious tone in my voice and she basically lives and dies on my every word. She staggered over to me and said, "Listen, I know what you're going to say, you're going to tell me to give up the drugs, start eating properly, and stay away from the dirty element I hang around". I was like, "No way, just the opposite, you need to do more cocaine, you're a fat pig".

I told Kate that she needs to drop another 20 pounds, that her weight is embarrassing, not only to me, but it should be for her too. Her eyes grew to the size of tea saucers, this is exactly what she needed to hear. I didn't stop there though, I could tell she needed more encouraging. I told Kate that I could hardly see the divits of her chest-bone, that she must be plumping up. Basically I demanded that she either drop another 20 pounds or the Canadian meat wagon won't be making any more stops in Kateville.

Kate is very fragile right now, I'm pretty upset at the advice her *handlers* have been giving her recently. It's time to face some cold hard facts, and that is cocaine is the best thing that has ever happened to Kate Moss. It saved her life as well as her career, and to give up the blow now would be the ultimate mistake in a life that has seen many, many mistakes.

Sure, you're stylish right now, Kate, but this is coming from a nation of people which the word *floss* and *dental hygiene* mean exactly nothing. Listen to The Mayor, Kate, it's your only hope.

Sure, you're stylish, but so are the cute boots I put on my dog