Black History Month in Mitchieville

One of the most important events in the Mitchieville social calendar!

On behalf of the Administrative Cadre here at Mitchieville Central, I extend my most profound apologies to our diverse Gay Black Vegetarian Communities. Our decision to concentrate our resources on the poorly named Gay Black History Month was wrong. We are now aware that Gay Black Vegetarians are the only legitimate expressions of the sum of diversity that is the Gay Black experience. It is impossible to be Gay Black and not be a Vegetarian. The omission of this necessary word has lead to grief, anguish, and upset. Youth crime has risen, famine has swept away villages, and despair has been unleashed. The absence of the life giving word Vegetarian implies that Gay Black people are Earth-rapists and Tree-Killers. I am sorry. Gay Black People are not Gay Black People. Gay Black People are Gay Black Vegetarian People.

To make amends, the month has been renamed Gay Black Vegetarian History Month. Thanks to a generous grant from Reparations Canada, Grief Counsellors and Reparations Adminstration Entitlement Service Clerks are available in the Mitchieville Community center to provide support and entitlement cheques, along with ice creme, cake, and balloons. Every tenth child receives a high school diploma.

In order to address this unforgivable act of racism, a new act has been added to the entertainments of Gay Black Vegetarian History Month.

The Fruit Friends are the premier Gay Black Vegetarian consciousness raising troup in Ontario today! This diverse ensemble features a multi-cultural perspective to the gay black vegetarian lifestyle, from leather-dominant to transvestite-submissive. Several skits introduce the role of our fruit friends and vegetable playmates in our healthy lifestyle filled with unique tastes and exotic pleasures! The song and dance number is both a tribute to Judy Garland and an exploration of imaginative ways to get protein into your body. Make new friends like Mister Banana, Curious Cucumber, and Blow Joe the Blueberry! If you have ever had a hard time getting your mouth around nutritious food, if you find it hard to swallow what is good for you, or if your are curious about prostrate massage, then you need to see The Fruit Friends. Leave your children to explore new sensations with Pedo the Clown and your teenagers to browse at the on-site abortion clinic in the shopping mall while you and your partner take in the show!

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.