Jessica Alba will be the death of me

The Digital Brownshirt emailed me tonight with some of the most important information The Mayor has ever heard in his life. Let's put it this way: I am forever a changed man.

Can 'Sin City' babe Jessica Alba any hotter? The striking beauty is already many a man's fantasy and now it is being reported that she doesn't mid indulging in a little fantasy herself.

The National Enquirer reports that Jessica loves watching a good porn flick and isn't afraid to rent it herself.

According to a source at Red Hot Video in Hollywood, Jessica recently left the store with a handful of fetish films. Titles included Fetish Factor 2, Neo Pornographia, Latex and Fetish Island, a spanking video.

Don't adjust the volume on your speakers, the heavy breathing you hear right now is me.

Take another look at the picture above. Now look at the words in the article that says *spanking video*. Now look at the picture and say the words *spanking video*. Now repeat the words *spanking video* very slowly. Now take out the word *video* and just say spanking. Now say the words *spanking Jessica Alba*. Now look down. If something isn't moving, then you're not normal.

The things I would do to Jessica Alba, a farmboy wouldn't even do to a barnyard animal.

Jessica Alba. Spanking. And speaking of spanking, you'll have to excuse me for a minute.

**When I went to see the article, there were 300 pop-ups. If you are still interested in checking it out, you can find All your Jessica Simpson spankarific news here**