Horoscope for the week of April 20, 2008
Lucky are you who can claim to be celebrating a birthday on this day of April 20, 2008. For this is the day when the pagans would celebrate with beer and cakes the holiday in honour of the Isis of the North, Freya of the Saxons, and Astarte of the Romans. Those who celebrate anyone’s birthday on this day will also share in the bounty of the good favour of this powerful goddess of Fertility, Plenty, and Prosperity.
Aries: The war ends with you holding the bag of loot. Yes, nice shiny golden coins, bars, and ingots. It will be heavy, and the distance you have to row to get to Kingston, Jamaica is a few miles. But because you are you, Aries, they have made your burden gentle and filled with glory. The beach front is filled with drunken tourists from Omsk, Tokyo, and Winnipeg. You will find a five star suite and can start your life of luxury fast.
The war god sends his surviving troops home, laden with riches and plunder.
Taurus: You are in charge now. This is your week to strike and consolidate your grip on power. Have your arrest list ready for the midnight shift for use by the Secret Police. Make big plans for your garden. Celebrate by dancing naked at least once in some public place. Admire how beautiful the sunset is to anyone you wish to seduce this week.
All Taurus born can claim an extra cosmic privilege token for buying new shoes any time this week.
Gemini: The traditional role of Gemini in the Isis-Freya story is that of clever bartender or serving wench, who gets the treasure map. Look for your filched opportunities this week, Gemini! The great boxer Ajax was a famous Gemini. Go slug someone in the chops.
Clever Gemini stays clear of those big hooves of whatever Taurus is stamping about.
Cancer: This is your week to explore underground places. Bonus points for seeking out a tomb or graveyard. You will take the side of soldiers in a civil war. Be alert for places to park your car in the event of an air strike and you have to go into one of the deep shelters. Accept gifts of silver.
Days of good news from the front means lots of entertaining … and soon Cancer’s busy hands get sore from dishing out all that potato salad to the throng.
Leo: The reborn fertility goddesses dance in the sun lit places so loved by Leo, the King of the Zodiac. Your world will be visited by Persephone, beloved daughter of Ceres the goddess of Plenty. She tends to dress goth, and likes to drug people. Expect to be seduced. And each time this happens, buy shoes, this week.
Leo, the lifeguard at the infinite beach that stretches along the east shore of Elysium.
Virgo: Your trouble shooting skills will prove useful if you are trapped aboard an experimental submarine trapped in an ocean trench off Hawaii. Invest in companies that will profit from war and exploitation of natural resources. Your financial scheme must run for twenty days. On the twenty first day, leave town.
Explore the carpetbagger lifestyle.
Libra: That fetish that you sublimate into your work and commuting will draw no unwanted attention this week. A large sum of money will find its way into your possession. An unattended pot will boil over. When you slug a miscreant in the wind pipe, they will realize their mistake.
The Goddesses of Plenty and Prosperity bless you with all the good things of this mortal life.
Scorpio: Explore the different alchemies of money this week. Arrange for a large sum of cash money to come into your possession. Study its properties … weight, texture, and folding characteristics. You will discover something that pleases you.
Seek out treasure.
Sagittarius: Re fighting old battles will appear to be the easiest and most profitable course of action, but resist this temptation. Your sharp eye is designed for seeing that which others cannot see, and sending your arrows of justice full into the heart of the evil ones who oppose you. So, leave the slow and weak for others … accept the challenge.
Put aside your comic book and put on your armour.
Capricorn: The War God makes use of your special talents for working and breaking metal. Your sign is the quintessential amphibious warfare soldier: capable on both land and sea. Expect to see some hot action. And remember to carry a few supplies with you, like a magnifying glass, a small screwdriver (a multi-tool would be better), and socks.
The heads of your enemies are stacked at your feet.
Aquarius: Another week of time travelling adventure with your new friends from beyond Orion. These will usually happen in your sleep, so keep a note book and a glass of fresh water beside your bed. The note book is for things you do not want to forget. The water is to put out any sort of fires that may start when you transition back to this dimension.
Adventure.
Pisces: You will seize a position of leadership and use it to mobilize a vast force of like thinking individuals. You are admired by more than you realize. The hands of many strong men are at your disposal. Be careful around large bodies of water, especially places where barracuda and other carnivorous sea creatures inhabit.
Neither feed the sea serpent nor tickle his fins.
I, Sargon the Magnificent, wrote this.
Astrology links:
Elsa Elsa’s astrology blog, of course
Aries: The war ends with you holding the bag of loot. Yes, nice shiny golden coins, bars, and ingots. It will be heavy, and the distance you have to row to get to Kingston, Jamaica is a few miles. But because you are you, Aries, they have made your burden gentle and filled with glory. The beach front is filled with drunken tourists from Omsk, Tokyo, and Winnipeg. You will find a five star suite and can start your life of luxury fast.
The war god sends his surviving troops home, laden with riches and plunder.
Taurus: You are in charge now. This is your week to strike and consolidate your grip on power. Have your arrest list ready for the midnight shift for use by the Secret Police. Make big plans for your garden. Celebrate by dancing naked at least once in some public place. Admire how beautiful the sunset is to anyone you wish to seduce this week.
All Taurus born can claim an extra cosmic privilege token for buying new shoes any time this week.
Gemini: The traditional role of Gemini in the Isis-Freya story is that of clever bartender or serving wench, who gets the treasure map. Look for your filched opportunities this week, Gemini! The great boxer Ajax was a famous Gemini. Go slug someone in the chops.
Clever Gemini stays clear of those big hooves of whatever Taurus is stamping about.
Cancer: This is your week to explore underground places. Bonus points for seeking out a tomb or graveyard. You will take the side of soldiers in a civil war. Be alert for places to park your car in the event of an air strike and you have to go into one of the deep shelters. Accept gifts of silver.
Days of good news from the front means lots of entertaining … and soon Cancer’s busy hands get sore from dishing out all that potato salad to the throng.
Leo: The reborn fertility goddesses dance in the sun lit places so loved by Leo, the King of the Zodiac. Your world will be visited by Persephone, beloved daughter of Ceres the goddess of Plenty. She tends to dress goth, and likes to drug people. Expect to be seduced. And each time this happens, buy shoes, this week.
Leo, the lifeguard at the infinite beach that stretches along the east shore of Elysium.
Virgo: Your trouble shooting skills will prove useful if you are trapped aboard an experimental submarine trapped in an ocean trench off Hawaii. Invest in companies that will profit from war and exploitation of natural resources. Your financial scheme must run for twenty days. On the twenty first day, leave town.
Explore the carpetbagger lifestyle.
Libra: That fetish that you sublimate into your work and commuting will draw no unwanted attention this week. A large sum of money will find its way into your possession. An unattended pot will boil over. When you slug a miscreant in the wind pipe, they will realize their mistake.
The Goddesses of Plenty and Prosperity bless you with all the good things of this mortal life.
Scorpio: Explore the different alchemies of money this week. Arrange for a large sum of cash money to come into your possession. Study its properties … weight, texture, and folding characteristics. You will discover something that pleases you.
Seek out treasure.
Sagittarius: Re fighting old battles will appear to be the easiest and most profitable course of action, but resist this temptation. Your sharp eye is designed for seeing that which others cannot see, and sending your arrows of justice full into the heart of the evil ones who oppose you. So, leave the slow and weak for others … accept the challenge.
Put aside your comic book and put on your armour.
Capricorn: The War God makes use of your special talents for working and breaking metal. Your sign is the quintessential amphibious warfare soldier: capable on both land and sea. Expect to see some hot action. And remember to carry a few supplies with you, like a magnifying glass, a small screwdriver (a multi-tool would be better), and socks.
The heads of your enemies are stacked at your feet.
Aquarius: Another week of time travelling adventure with your new friends from beyond Orion. These will usually happen in your sleep, so keep a note book and a glass of fresh water beside your bed. The note book is for things you do not want to forget. The water is to put out any sort of fires that may start when you transition back to this dimension.
Adventure.
Pisces: You will seize a position of leadership and use it to mobilize a vast force of like thinking individuals. You are admired by more than you realize. The hands of many strong men are at your disposal. Be careful around large bodies of water, especially places where barracuda and other carnivorous sea creatures inhabit.
Neither feed the sea serpent nor tickle his fins.
I, Sargon the Magnificent, wrote this.
Astrology links:
Elsa Elsa’s astrology blog, of course
Labels: Horoscope
posted by Fenris Badwulf at 4:55 PM
Submit this post to ... StumbleUpon | Digg | del.icio.us
<< Home