Hall way monitors

Somehow, all feelings of outrage drain from my body when I pick up the Red Star, the flagship newspaper of Toronto, the city of Light. As I sit in the staff lunchroom, getting paid to wait for material, or wait for the supervisor, or wait for morning break to end and lunch to begin, the constant voice that is the Red Star calls to my collectivist soul.

Sunday is a special day in Toronto schools. The guy who drives the truck with the parts does not work this day (he is in Cuba), and neither does my supervisor (he is on a cruise), so I have a day dedicated to earning pensionable hours, crosswords, and reading the paper. And what could be better than an article on the beloved, efficient Toronto District School Board? *

Hall monitor Dave Bradley only earns 30k a year, apparently.

1) Strangely enough, all the other hall monitors that I have talked to earn alot more. And that was in their first year, as recent hires, too. But then again, I am not a news hound with a nose for news.

Hall monitor Dave Bradley is a white male.

2) Strangely enough, none of the other hall monitors that I have seen are white males. I would have thought that the Red Star would be more embracing of diversity by spotlighting one of the other 157 non-white non-male monitors.

Earl Haig is a relatively peaceful school.

3) Strangely enough, they had a knife fight only last week. This would appear to be contradict the 'peaceful school' theory. But then again, what do I know, I am a peasant and the Red Star is a big newspaper. They know better, and if knife fights make a school relatively peaceful, then it must be true.

Earl Haig is a relatively peaceful school.

4) It gets better. Apparently last year '... tensions emerged between two groups of students ...' Certainly not gangs. It would be nice to know who the two groups were. Perhaps the Chess club was feuding with the Yearbook committee over office space? Who knows, other than Ace reporter Louise Brown, and people who work in schools.

The Red Star reporter seems unaware of the No Snitching * culture in Toronto. Louise 'Ace' Brown is to be commended for penetrating through the veil of silence and rooting up all these soothing facts. This is impressive, given the misogynistic gang culture (do they call Louise a 'ho' or a 'bitch', I wonder?). High fives, homegirl!

I am glad that the Red Star makes the effort to keep information from its readers, and pursues excellence in reporting by considering last weeks knife fight as a sign of relative peace. Other unimportant facts, like the pensions and perks that the underpaid monitors get would be interesting. The infiltration of gang members as hall monitors would be interesting too.

The Red Star ... reading that is like a mug of warm milk. Mmmmmm.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.