Mary Kate And Ashley Turn 21--A Different Perspective

Who among us didn't think that when Mary Kate and Ashley were child stars on that show, I think it was called Different Strokes, or possibly Hogans Heroes, that both of those kids must have been smacked senseless with the ugly stick when they were babies? We didn't talk about it though, they were just children, and it's not cool to call a child ugly...even though it was strikingly obvious that these two creatures were Gods mistake.

When the Olsen's got a little older and started forming into actual humans, maybe around the age of 14 or so, the world could see that with the right amount of body and face altering plastic surgery, the two twin hobbits might actually turn into something that doesn't make you want to cram a chopstick down your esophagus.

A few years later it was clear that the Olsen's were never going to be easy on the eyes, they were always going to look like something that sleeps hanging upside down and is afraid of sunlight. And now they're 21, not hot, and the only reason why they're the least bit bangable is because they have a vagina and boobies...and even that's debatable.

Happy birthday, Olsen's, Happy birthday to you.